We are looking for a fourth member to join Kitchener to add that special little sparkle that appears on our recordings i.e. Melodica, xylpohone, stylophone, slide guitar etc.
You don't need to own these instruments as I have a little collection already but you do need to be at least a bit musical and of course you need to love the Kitchener sound. If you already play an unusual instrument that would fit in with the sound then that might give you an edge over others.

We rehearse in North London.

If you are interested then message me and we'll get together for a little audition.

Born into the infamous Kitchener Travelling Circus family, 1 of 15 children, Simon was wowing audiences at the age of 3 with renditions of The Beatles “White Album” on the kazoo, while being fired from a cannon into the waiting arms of his brothers and sisters.

Aged 10, following a near fatal unicycle incident, Simon ran away from the circus to an English country boarding school where he learnt about Lou Reed, guitars and how to get out of a fight.

His first band “The Soft Undergrowth” sent Valentine’s cards to every girl at their school. They were consequently barred from the playground and labelled as sarcastic.

While at art college and made-up like a girl, Simon formed a glam rock band that toured France supporting Lizzie Borden and Nasty Suicide. After being misquoted in the French press as stating “Rock’N’Roll is my life”, Simon quit that scene and headed for a fresh start in London.

A few months as half of Steve Marriott, in Small Faces tribute band “Mustn’t Grumble”, was followed by a realisation that to really go where you want you need to travel alone.

Rediscovering a love for the storytellers Brel, Hazlewood, Walker, Reed, Bowie, and Morrissey, Simon has been touring his own distinctive brand of storytelling around the acoustic clubs of London and environs since Summer 2002.

 Who's Involved...
Click HERE to find out more about 'Simon'
Guitar, Vox
Click HERE to find out more about 'Gwilym Johnston'
Gwilym Johnston
Double Bass
Click HERE to find out more about 'Tom Greenhalgh'
Tom Greenhalgh
Drums, Hands, Sticks & Things
Details & Downloads...
Click HERE to find out more about 'Blindfold Ride'
Blindfold Ride
3' 04"
Click HERE to find out more about 'Frontline'
2' 25"
Click HERE to find out more about 'Gesture'
3' 24"
Click HERE to find out more about 'Accidents Will Happen'
Accidents Will Happen
3' 39"
 Future Antics...
Nothing specific just now - please come back soon...
 Bits to Buy...
 Not selling out at the moment...
Five KitchenersFive Kitcheners
Forthcoming GigsForthcoming Gigs